From the depths pt3

Yet more poetry, 
though it was written on the spur of the moment and in some cases in response to something someone I knew wrote or said. I have other things I have written that are hard to reread, others that I find though many years have passed to still be relevant to myself and situation. Most I think are mere reflections of my inner turmoil with being what I am in this current form and time. It can be hard to reconcile what one is and what one wishes to be, or what ones stories say one is. We are after all though the stories we tell each ourselves and others. An my story is just a reflection of my disassociation with this reality. Or it could be the truth, it feels like the truth for some of the stories deeply touch my inner being, and if that is story is reality then I would really be screwed.  


whispers...
they hurt so much
whispers....
from the dark, and across the void do they slip
to tear and break my walls
to hurt and change
to heal and comfort
and now there comes a new one
unlike the one who came before, the one who brought
forth an army, an army that lay siege
one that broke the walls
that let in and released things that before
were never known
whispered from across the void
this one did cause great pain and great change
and for this great things where known
things where set free
whispers became more louder
more urgent in there urging's
now a new whisper floats this way
one who bears a sword, a sword from there past
and now they come at me
but with words and whispers, they do lay me bare
now i find myself opened once again
confused and hurt
and the whispers they do come to me
from a creature new, they speak of
and a creature old that desires the other
how i yearn for this new creature
the whispers from it, unlike any heard before
pried open and questioned by the warrior
and i know i would forsake all others
would die fighting
would lay waste to countless others
all for this creature
who whispers to me so deeply
the voices in my head whisper there encouragement
they whisper there way deep into my soul and heart
they change and destroy
all for this one creature
for all my armor and all my power
this i have no protection from
though nothing can hurt me,
and nothing survive my assault
the whispers, the emotions
of others and them
of this new creature
i have no defense
though my past as a warrior is over
a guardian i remain, now and forever
my place here, something different
something more, but still unknown
but for this creature, i would give myself to
if not to have, then to protect, and guide
when and where i may, this would i forever do
whispers....
why would i do this now, what is it
about this lovely creature that haunts me so
where countless like them have shown themselves
none have whispered like this one
if they would have me
i would give myself to them
for the darkness
for them
though it may be a fleeting thing
or mayhaps not
i would venture forth on that path
and not look back
whispers..... 


And then there is this one, this was written in response to something someone wrote ages ago


this shell, to tight
never meant to be mine
where , why, when
did i come by this form
when before i was so much more
i wish to spread those half forgotten wings
to fly once again, to be free once again
but this shell will not let me
it denies me my freedom, my wings
but my soul, it denies me not
it is not a mirror of my shell
but that which i once was
and so i will spread the wings of my soul
and be free once more